GENTLEST HAMMER

I don't even know where to start.

Just when I thought life couldn't possibly get any bigger, any bolder and more significant - BOOM.

The past three days took place.

MJ was transferred to TIRR on Friday - I shaved him, we put REAL clothes on him, his nurses drugged him (ha!) and we loaded up on the Galveston EMS transfer.

I'll be honest; SHADY is a word that comes to mind in describing the EMTs. Made me wish the nurses had drugged me as well. There was a lot of texting and DRIVING AN AMBULANCE going on and people, that's just WRONG!

The staff of TIRR welcomed us with open arms - and when I think about how to describe TIRR to you, the words "confident" and "happy" come to mind. Everyone who comes into contact with MJ is confident in him, proud to have him, excited about his potential.

It was a rough start for MJ - I stayed with him Friday night and it was honestly the longest night of my life.

The good: MJ has an awesome care tech named Edwin. Edwin annouced that it was time for MJ to "get a shower."

MJ hasn't had a shower since the night before we ran the marathon.

So we moved MJ over to TIRR's "shower bed" and rolled him into the oversized bathroom in his suite - Edwin and I scrubbed MJ from head to toe, shampoo and scalp massage, got all the tape residue off him, and washed him down - pure heaven for MJ! Edwin explained that he will get showers every other day - what a life, considering his past two months of sponge baths and "towlettes."

The bad: that night, MJ was visibly upset, I'm certain a combination of fear and confusion about where he was. The net bed was pretty ridiculous in appearance too - he kept looking at it with an honest-to-God "WTF?!" expression. I tried to reassure him about where he was and what was going on...but my heart just broke into a million pieces for him because I cannot imagine how frustrated and concerned he was.

Saturday was a mixture of techs and therapists measuring and testing MJ's flexion,
attending to his medical needs and doing their inital lab work and rounds. It was another long day...and for some reason is blurry in my mind right now as I write.

Sunday, the stone turned.

MJ's therapists started to work with him, performing assessments and taking him to the gym, the place I'm sure will be MJ's most favorite part of TIRR. They worked on streching his tight muscles, freeing up his hips and shoulders which have suffered from two months of lying in bed. This is all very hard for him - physically, because his muscles have atrophied, but mentally, because he doesn't trust the people touching him to not hurt him. He resists and pulls away - which is completely fair, considering all that's transpired.

His PTs left their notes in his room yesterday and I nosed through them:

"Resists to stretching shoulders...watch out, he has a hell of a hook!"

Nice MJ, nice.

He has been fitted with a specialized wheelchair and the goal is for him to sit up as much as he can tolerate; the bed is BAD, except for at night and sleeping. MJ was able to sit up and focus on our friends and family for a pretty long period of time, which was awesome and so reassuring for his guys.

Last night, everyone had left and it was just me and MJ.

There are a lot of times when I think MJ is swimming around in his brain up there...and there isn't a single one of us who could venture a guess about what he is thinking, what thoughts and emotions are rolling around.

He was lying on his side and he looked at me - huge brown eyes. I smiled at him and he smiled back and mouthed something to me.

And that moment brought me right back to being grounded, to thinking about our future and kids and weddings and all the things that people in love should be thinking about.

Game changer, friends, this place is a game changer.