MJ + IV

Sigh. IV.

Where do I start? The child is a maniac. Interestingly enough, just like MJ.

When I met MJ, I was very upfront about this priority in my life named IV. That I would not tolerate a revolving door of people into and out of his life...therefore, MJ would not be a part of IV's life until I knew for sure that we weren't a fling.

I was also careful to explain that I wasn't your typical, run-of-the-mill single 30 year old: I had baggage, lovely, amazing and precious baggage named IV and that I don't really "go out." So if MJ wanted to have a date with me, it would have to be "staying in."

Luckily, this man majored in the "staying in" concept, and brought a "going out" night indoors - he brought music, wine and all the ingredients to cook me an amazing dinner. Our first date - dinner at my house, the first of many meals we would cook together and share.

With IV safe and sound in bed upstairs.

Our relationship was in high speed from the start - so it wasn't long before MJ met IV and, wow, did two worlds collide.

MJ was enamoured with IV - and believe me, the feeling was mutual. MJ took him everywhere: golf cart rides going waaaay too fast (for mama's concern) with little mits hanging on to the steering wheel, to the beach, crawling through the shallow water with sand covering every inch of his body. He was constantly in the kitchen with MJ, sampling and trying everything MJ concocted from avocado to feta to asparagus. I owe my child's non-discriminatory palate to MJ, no doubt.

They had "boys night" whenever I had meetings or work to do - and "boys night" usually involved popsicles, ice cream and mac and cheese...with a side of football or baseball, side by side in stadium chairs. Special nights would mean "Yo Yo" (Yale, MJ's Daddy) was in the mix - which meant Bob Marley and lots of lounging at the tiki bar, watching the sunsets and BBQ-ing.

They just fit - they had this connection, this understanding, about MJ pushing him to explore, to step just a little bit outside of his comfort zone, to be adventurous...and IV teaching him patience and a little bit about stubborness and independence.

You could never "tell" MJ anything; he would "figure it out" on HIS. OWN.

Sound familiar? A little like a certain toddler who roams my house and insists on feeding HIMSELF out of the goldfish bag. DARE YOU SUGGEST HANDING HIM A FEW? PISH POSH.

When MJ and IV met, IV was still technically a baby - he ate a bottle before bedtime, I would rock him and he would finish and then curl up on my chest and fall asleep. It was the sweetest of times, something branded on my soul that I will never forget. The smell of clean baby hair, soft breathing in and out, feeling his little heart beat on my chest.

The first time MJ put him to bed, he came out with a grin on his face.

"That's really, really awesome" he remarked.

And rarely did I ever put IV to bed again - it became a MJ job. A ritual for them. They would take a bath together, MJ filling the tub up to a ridiculous level, right under IV's chin so that he resembled a scuba diver, MJ teaching him to blow bubbles and put his face in the water.

"I'm teaching him a healthy respect for the ocean" MJ would tell me (I'm still rolling my eyes as I write that).

"But he's 14 months old" I would respond.

Then they would put on jammies, brush hair and teeth and IV was off to bed.

......

IV can't go to the hospital to see MJ, because of H1N1...no one under 12 is allowed in the hospital doors at UTMB. And this absolutely sucks, it sucks like there is nothing else in the world that is this sucky. It breaks my heart.

Because when I showed MJ a video of IV at bathtime tonight, his face lit up and he cracked a smile from ear to ear and watched this baby, this child he taught to swim and blow bubbles, splash around and love him some bathtime.

MJ, you taught him this.

This is because of you, it is your mark on him.

And I know that your spirit and his are connected - he is with you every single step of this journey.