MERCY

Some people ask me how I am doing - with this, all of this.

I am beating a constant path between home, day care, work, TIRR, temporary homes (thanks Tiff Tiff and J&J) and back. I don't even think about it - I just hop in and drive, from here to there, constantly.

I am essentially living out of an oversized bag and off of diet cokes and red wine.

I have submitted to carrying a toddler arsenal in my vehicle because I know better than to think that I have time to get items from home for IV. It's better than Girl Scouts - it's called OCD!

How do I do it?

Every day MJ gives me a gift.

Sometimes they are seemingly small - like a smile or restfulness.

Sometimes they are too huge for emotions - like kissing me back, like a REAL kiss, the way we used to kiss and it amazes me how it immediately sends my heart from zero to 5,567,364 miles an hour, pounding and electric and completely absorbed into him.

Many things have changed and will continue to change, but the rawness and the melding of our hearts is something that has remained the same. It's so utterly beautiful that sometimes I think it can't really be happening.

But it is. And that's how I do it.