WARWICK AVENUE

Is anyone tired of me writing about making out with MJ?!?!

OK, OK. I get it. I mean, my parents read this. Sorry Dad!

I spent the day with MJ yesterday and while I have neither the time nor the energy to write about all the crazy decisions and thoughts swirling around in my head, I will say this: I am impressed. MJ impresses me and shows me that...

1. He is there. ALL THERE.

You know, everyone had that little creeping thought: what does MJ's mental status look like? Does he know who he is? Does he know who we are? What does he know? And MJ has shown us that he totally gets it. He can't control his emotions or his body...his movement is very typical of someone who suffers from a brain injury. But he hears and he understands what is going on.

For crying out loud, I caught him checking me out when I was leaned over adjusting the tv in the family room this week - and when I busted him, he cracked up laughing.

Nice.

2. There is a path ahead.

If we were looking at this situation, this point, for the rest of our lives, my decisions would be much harder to make. But MJ shows me that every day, he learns. He masters. He controls. He improves and big things happen.

Because first there was ICU and codes at 3 AM. Trachs and PEGs and PIC lines.

And then there was Galveston. Awareness. Smiling. Movement. Sitters.

And now there is TIRR. No tubes. Sitting up. Laughing and participating. Missing me. Kissing me. Putting his arms around me and pulling me in close.

The path - it lies ahead for me and for him, shiny and bright. It may be long, but wow, is it beautiful.

Many of you are (rightfully) worried about me. All I can say is that I am aware of the pitfalls. I am aware that my hair looks like ass, which is why I'm spending half the day with Erin tomorrow.

Isn't awareness one of the steps? Oh wait, that's acceptance...or admitting I have a problem. Whatever, 12 steps.

I texted my dad this morning about the weekend and ended it with...

Me: "Daddy, I need Botox"

Dad: "Bullshit. U look good."

Me: It's all fixable, isn't it?"

It's all fixable. Nothing that a little hair color, injections and therapy won't cure, right?